hope

The more I understand my family, the more I feel like maybe Candice did like me but moreso wanted to have me. 

Tonight, Grant brought a friend who was really drunk and really handsy. 

She told me I was beautiful several times when we first met. She grabbed my thigh, she begged me to dance.

We danced, she kept saying she loved me incessantly, we were crotch to crotch dancing across the floor. We even stopped dancing and hugged it out for a beat. And she kept saying she loved me or repeatedly saying yes ma'am. 

Then we went back to the table. She was cute btw just really drunk lol

We went back to the table and she was touching my boobs in front of everyone and I didn't mind because me no get much action AND she was cute. 

Then I jokingly pointed to her where my boobs were in my shirt because she kept missing them. 

The she kept grabbing my boobs and pawing at my hands. So I held her hands and she pulled me in to hug her. Saying incessantly how much she loved me and I was beautiful. And then she started kissing my neck. Like not accidentally. In purpose, with vigor. In front of everyone. 

And then her friend broke her away, I only for her to start patting my ass in different ways. Then she stared grabbing it by the handful, reaching closer and closer to my crotch. 

Again, I didn't mind. I was just like "ma'am, if you weren't drunk, I'd definitely let you fuck" 

And I let her because it felt nice to be fondled and I enjoyed it. And she was not afraid to grab at what she liked. 

And I love some possessiveness.

So I let her. 

And then Grant took her and his friend home.

He said he was coming back but he did not lol. 

But I had a blast. I'm currently drunk, I Ubered home and I'm sitting on the toilet, trying to figure out if I need to poop and if I want to shower. 

~

I've been hit on very obviously by more people since Candice and since I moved out. 

Or maybe I'm more equipped to notice now, idk. 

But I can say, no one was calling me beautiful, grabbing my ass and tits, or kissing my neck beforehand. 

Maybe Candice was only my entry point. 

Makes me sad but what am I supposed to do if she doesn't want to be around or even talk to me. 

~

I only hugged Candice once. 

She never kissed my neck. Or grabbed my ass or tits. 

And now I get hit on out loud or I notice when it happens now.

I still love her but what am I to do if she acts as if she does not feel the same way.

Fuck other people? Fuck the girl from the gym? Find another gym?