energy

We JUST got talked about energy in therapy with Malaina on Tuesday and here I am, being off kilter at work because Andrea is off kilter at work.

Rochelle used to say this and she's never been wrong about it-- one thing will get in her cross hairs and Andrea goes on this nervous "we gotta, we gotta, we gotta, and why haven't we, how does this work" panicked swing.

And that has happened early this morning over one bill from Tony, all because I feel like she is nervous about how she will be perceived AND the fact that Chris got on to her. 

Am I behind? Yes. By like a week.

And it's not apples to apples but she just got "semi-reemed" by Chris about reports being behind. 

So now, our reporting being behind is fine and Bills and Deposits take precedent. 

And fine. I'll do that but I do not want to hear it when it comes to anything else.

Because I do more than just reporting.

But I will put Bills on the same scale of importantance and deposits and we'll see what happens. 

Will it fix anything? No. 

Even passing things to Jan will help, but guess who has to explain all of that?

Passing things to Andrea will help, but guess who has to explain all of that?

Tatum just left for mat leave last month and I am treading water as best as possible.

But side projects keep coming up and taking precendent over things that has hard dates attached to them. 

So yes, I have made the executive decision to float bills within a week or so. I'm fucking busy.

And she did come and apologize over being worked up and nervous because, like I assumed, she doesn't want us to end up in trouble somehow. 

But she didn't say that this morning and her attitude whether she meant it or not made me feel like I was being accused of slacking off, especially because she compared me being late on processing Tony's check (because apparently he can't survive at most a Net 20) to the way Rochelle used to handle bills.

That triggered me just as much as her attitude.

So I answered all of her questions in detail and referred back to my daily tasklist to go over why and how and when and what my plans are. And then I had to explain all these things to her because she doesn't know how they work and what the processes are-- she just sees the end result. 

And the same way she gets mad at Chris for always needing something and then not giving her credit for all she does-- hello??

I am underpaid and I work my ass off to keep morale, efficiency, and effectiveness as best as I fucking can. 

~

And to top it off, instead of training me to send reports to Margie when it comes to BPP taxes, she worded it in a way that made it seem like this is something I should know already and shouldn't forget to do. 

Ma'am-- I've never done any of that a day in my life.

So I was looking at her and taking it in confused, and calmly talked about it and she ended up saying she'll show me how to do it. 

Great because I've never even known that was a thing. 

And what's the precedent on that?