what living looks like

Fondly remembering the last gym outting I had with Candice. She has been working at me all night, trying to butt into conversations I was having, cock blocking me flirting with that guy, and then the last time I ran to the bathroom to avoid her, I came back to her at the head of the table I was at (and her girlfriend). She was standing there, waiting on me and I know that because she addressed me loudly in front of everyone as I was walking back to my seat just so I wouldn't avoid her because how could I when she gave us an audience.  I miss her so much and I hate the way things ended. I hate that she refused to talk to me after months of me begging her to do just that.  But, to be fair, that was after I posted my review.  So maybe that was her straw? ...I don't know but I wish it wasn't. ~ Oh fuck.  I heard her voice in someone's video, over the gym mic.  I miss that and now I'm scared of how I'm gonna react to that. 

We JUST got talked about energy in therapy with Malaina on Tuesday and here I am, being off kilter at work because Andrea is off kilter at work. Rochelle used to say this and she's never been wrong about it-- one thing will get in her cross hairs and Andrea goes on this nervous "we gotta, we gotta, we gotta, and why haven't we, how does this work" panicked swing. And that has happened early this morning over one bill from Tony, all because I feel like she is nervous about how she will be perceived AND the fact that Chris got on to her.  Am I behind? Yes. By like a week. And it's not apples to apples but she just got "semi-reemed" by Chris about reports being behind.  So now, our reporting being behind is fine and Bills and Deposits take precedent.  And fine. I'll do that but I do not want to hear it when it comes to anything else. Because I do more than just reporting. But I will put Bills on the same scale of importantance and deposits and we'll...