mixed up jumble

I am overwhelmed today.

I've been balancing thoughts of Candice since the Super Bowl. I'm in love with her, I can't seem to find anyone so far that makes me feel anything close to that, I overheard Andrea comment that she's living with her girlfriend so that's confirmed, and Sophia saying that it was clear that they weren't in a good place in class once had been concerning me because she described the girlfriend as being dismissive about Candice being upset. And I was able to go through texts to find screenshots of our old conversations and it brought up a level of clarity that made me sad.

Tatum had her baby so now I'm back in the mix of HR.

I saw a girl at crochet Saturday with her hair done all beautifully and it reminded me that I have a huge chunk of mine missing and I don't know if I'll ever get it back. 

All the little side projects and requests at work have me late on my due dates so I'm essentially playing catch-up while trying to keep up with everyone's everything. 

And my throat hurts.

And now I'm on the toilet journaling because I am, again, in a spot where I feel like I can't move. 

Also I went drinking with Dylan and her husband. It was great. 

Anyway, I feel like I can't move. I'm always flexing to support at my job and Tatum was really helpful because she was helping to support me. And now it's just me Andrea and Jan. 

But it feels like it's just me because everyone is coming to me with everything on top of my already busy stuff.

So I took advantage of our Internet being down and got my email sorting to hopefully devour today.

I am hoping to do email and bills today to get caught up but then it's supposed to snow tonight and be below freezing the next two days.

I want a break. 

Oh, and our President has set the fucking democracy on fire. So there's that. 

~

Jamie just called from my volunteer group and they're ending the program.

And I did not expect to be fully crying while she broke the news. 

Today is not going well for me right now. I don't like this. 

~

I don't feel good today either. And if I said that already or not but feel disgusting. I left the office to go take a check to Nikki and Carrie because they had an alarm for like 90 grand. And I already don't feel good had to go downstairs to get the check from that guy here I got to bft so I have to do that and then I get there and Nikki is fussing about she doesn't understand how Neil awesome and thankfully I don't feel good cuz I had no reaction. Well somebody check b**** get off your room

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