love

I'm very much in love with Candice. 

The more i learn who I am and the more I realize what Candice saw in me, what she gave me, the more I love her.

And I miss her so much.

And I'm not sad but I am a little lol.

I wish we could choose each other.

I chose myself. I hope she finds her way.

Even if she chooses herself she deserves to know peace in herself.

I'll just long to experience that version of her and miss the version I had. 

I wish alot of things for lots of reasons.  

I don't know that I will ever not. 

~

She saw all of me. 

My embarrassment, my fear, my shame, my internal struggles, my worry. My care, my kindness, my curiosity, my art, my quiet, my humor, my hiding, my duality, my reading, my awkwardness.

And she persisted. She did everything she could to be near me, see me, talk to me, wait for me.

She pursued me even when I tried to push her away. And I never really wanted to push her away.

I just didn't want to share her.