feeling unlike me

I don't feel like myself.

This has been an emotionally draining week. I think my lows have felt hopeless and my highs have made me so happy. But the in-betweens are just empty valleys.

I don't feel ok, mentally and physically sometimes.

I'm scared, I'm nervous, I'm paranoid, I have been edging dissociation, my face feels tired, I'm motivated but out of obligation.

It hasn't stopped me from trying, moving forward, making connections.

But it has been making me second guess my reality. Do people really like me or do they feel sorry for me?

I don't know if I trust myself fully right now. Like I do, but I sometimes feel like I'm just throwing shit at a wall to see what sticks. 

My edibles did just kick in so that helps. I feel like my body is calming down.

I have been physically wound up almost every day this week. 

I had to make my muscles relax sitting down before the concert yesterday. 

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