08PC - grieving

Moving on requires letting go.

Letting to of my narrative, control, Candice, the friends I will lose, how I am perceived, how I will be perceived.

This part is also really fucking hard because I know I took care of myself and I will be better for it. But there's a little a part of me that feels like she won.

And I know our situations are different, but I wonder how Libby's husband felt. 

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And because Candice gaslit me once in private and again in public, I can't trust her and it scares me because I never thought she'd do that.

And if she's willing to do that, what won't she do.

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This is how people accept things 

...The Healing Process...

It isn't particularly comfortable. In fact, it's awkward and often painful. 

We may feel like we're falling apart. 

When the process begins, we usually feel shock and panic. As we go through the stages, we often feel confused, vulnerable, lonely, and isolated. 

WELP! Codependent No More is just snatching my wig CLEAN off, my God. 

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Also, filling Kaylin in on the tea lol. 

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It's a good time lol. Kaylin is a good time. 

Here are some highlights from her lol:

I HAVE 100 QUESTIONS

 sad to hear that you felt uncomfortable in any way and that boundaries that you were courageous enough to set were crossed

And that was her gf's response?!?!

I barely speak to her so everything youve described is waaaay more than she's ever done, which demonstrates this was more than just a gym-client interaction for sure

Waiting for you outside the bathroom is BONKERS

 Also so shady of the gf like as a business owner not everyone is going to leave you a glowing review all the time. So nosy.

Yeah she for sure crossed a line. Also there's like a power imbalance there. Like you can't go to the gym in peace. You never know when she'll be there or when she can reach out under the cover of it being a gym matter for a check in or whatever. I can't believe she didn't respect your wishes when you set that boundary and then asks you to leave AND THEN "Cries all day" because she's so00 upset. It's fucked up.

Well your review was super well written and so were all your messages to her gf, ya killed it

I love when you mention that she may want to consider why Candice is so upset about you leaving

The fact that the review mentioned being professional kills me like shut tf up

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Ohmygah ohmygah ohmygah 

Candice is a fucking MENACE and I will love Kaylin forever, ohmygah.

Okay I reached out to a friend has since moved from Fort Worth but when I started CF she wasn't there but she had gone in the past and I remember her sharing some stuff about Candice but couldn't remember what it was so just reached out and asked

It sounds slightly similar to what you experienced with getting into deep Convos

Sounds like Candice was taking to Someone but was not in a committed relationship at the time

It gets CRAZY!! ohmygah I'm so fucking happy. But I HAVE to get some sleep cause I took and edible and I need to be sure it wears off.

But I am SO fucking happy. Look at God's timing.

I wasn't sure, but ohmygah.