im struggling a little

Now that I understand her actions, I'm not as pissed.

I keep going to her Instagram because 'has she posted her girlfriend, they were together all week and nothing?'

I know that means nothing. And seeing her face still makes me angry. 

Because she did take advantage of the situation but she also fucked herself because she can't avoid me forever. 

Unless she does move away.

Now I just feel equally sad for her as I am mad at her.

She needs to get back in therapy. 

I keep coming up with different things to help her but I can't help her until she helps herself. And even then, it still doesn't guarantee that I won't be hurt again.

...fuck. 

~

I finished cooking, baking, and washing. 

Put antifreeze in my car, added windshield wiper fluid, and I saw a pack of headlights and was like 'oh, my other one just went out. Lemme put this one in'

Turns out, it's the wrong one. So then I asked my mom to run me to Walmart, I go put on Walmart clothes, go to put up the crockpot I used and the lid slid off and shattered on the ground.

......why, God?

So I started cleaning up and immediately felt like a panicked 5 year old me. So I slowed down, focused on me breathing and finished cleaning. 

I'm still a little shook up, honestly. 

~

And I literally cannot find my headlight in stock.

I'm gonna cry but I also took an edible and I'm trying to apply for a payment plan with the IRS because apparently I still owed for 2021 AND I really want to go on gym girl's Instagram.

Fuck.