saturday, post thanksgiving

I feel like I've been asleep for 27 years of my life.

This year is the first time in my life I've actually felt alive-- fully present.

Aware.

Gym girl was the first one to break that seal.

She broke my fourth wall and now I've pushed her away. And not because I wanted to but because I had to. It was best for me.

I did what was best for me but I feel like I shouldn't have. Sometimes I wish I didn't.

And the irony is, this is the person that helped me get back on track with taking care of my mental health. And I had to push her away for that very reason.

~

I really miss her.

Meanwhile, she's probably doing the Holidays with her girlfriend. My worst fear is seeing them thrive together, be in love.

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