mental exhaustion

Me are mentally exhausted. 

*heavy siiiiiiigh*

I feel good other than being mentally exhausted.

My eyes are very tired and I feel like I just want to sprawl out and nap.i might just sprawl out for a minute. 

Ooooor sit on the toilet...

I'm gonna sit on the toilet.

~

Aaaaalrighty.

I got a few things knocked out before I came to pop a squat lol. 

I opened the curtains to let some sunlight in and now I'm just gonna relax for a bit.

Maybe even poop. Who knows?

~

I did poop lol.

And I went to the gym. It was good.

Gym girl wasn't there and we had the option of doing partner workout.

Aaaaaand there is another girl I've seen around the gym who is really cute and miiiight be a lil gay. And we partnered up for today.

It was good. She definitely seems very hit it and quit it. Which, in this case, is fine by me lol.

Idk. I don't know where gym girl's head is and so I'm gonna just keep moving forward.

She knows why I blocked her, she knows that I like her. Soooo yeah.

But the other girl-- she did high five me and held my hand after and in my head I was like "oop!" And then when I was leaving the gym, she stood up out of the door of her truck and yelled bye and waved to me.

.....this is all very strange. 

I still have a strong attraction to gym girl and our chemistry is so natural that it feels wrong that we can't explore that romantically. And we can't even explore it platonically.

And I feel bad for moving on a little. Or trying to for that matter.

I just told her I liked her on Monday and she disappeared yet again and I don't know.

I just told her I liked her on Monday and I'm scared that if I do pick up and move on, that makes me look bad.

So I'm just gonna take my time and ride the waves. If I build new connections that feel good to me, I do. And the only feelings that I'm responsible for are my own.

Because she is in a committed relationship.