the saga continues

Ooooooookay.

I am literally shaking right now.

I'm on the toilet, minding my business. Just doing my Sunday morning routine aaaaaaand trying to keep my mind off of her.

Following my rules from yesterday, yadda yadda. 

Ma'am just replied to my Story and my heart is jumping out of my body.

She just replied to my Story. After I just told/convinced myself yesterday that I wouldn't watch hers unless she watched mine. 

And here she is, going the extra mile.

And now I'm here, writing so I don't overthink this anymore than I already am. So I don't freak out anymore than I already am.

I was also thinking to immediately screenshot it and send it to my best friends but I think I'm going to let this one play out and deal on my own.

We'll see.

~

Ok. It was a harmless message, nothing too crazy. 

Deep breaths. Ok.

And I responded with equally innocent energy.

I will say, she didn't watch my entire Story. So there's that.

Can I use that as a reason to not watch hers.... because what if the same thing happens again.

What if I get my feelers hurt again?

...fuck me, ohmygah. Ok. I can do this..

Don't freak out. Don't over-excite myself.

~

I watched her Story. Literally one picture, nothing crazy.

I'm reeeeaaally trying to read into anything anymore that isn't right in front of my face in black and white.

Focus on what's on the surface.

On the surface, she's just being friendly.

~

Ok. I think I'm grounded again.

It is very likely that she just taps in to her gym members from time to time just to interact and be kind. 

We're gonna go with that. 

I will say, the timing could not have been more impeccable. 

~

She posted something else to her Story a little while after I watched the initial one. 

And me would like to be nosey for all the wrong reasons.

*Deep breath*

I keep telling telling myself she didn't watch my full Story so I don't have to watch hers. And so far, kinda good?

I'm really trying to not read into things AND not go looking for things to read into.

I can do this.

I'm strong. I'm wise. I can trust myself.

She also hasn't opened my reply to her, so that is helping me stay away. 

~

My curiosity won. I watched it. 

It was nothing crazy. And I don't feel all doom and gloom. But that's probably only because it wasn't a picture of her and her girlfriend.

Fuck me, how did I get here? How did I get this wrapped up around someone?

~ 

Aaaaaaaalrighty. I made it without overthinking too much.

I have gone back to that day in the gym she ignored me but spoke to everyone around me. And how she waited until class was almost over to speak to me while my back was turned.

I don't know a lot of anything about all the everything I have allowed myself to read into, but that moment stand out as the most peculiar if she really isn't attracted to me.

~

A funny sex joke video was suggested to me via Instagram and I was so tickled. 

It was a video about talking dirty in bed and how it can be awkward at first but really fun.

And then I looked at the bottom of the video and guess who liked it?!

....I will be masturbating again tonight. Dirty talk is my most favorite thing. 

God, I am so single. And I traded my Hot Girl Summer for what exactly? 

~

That also reminds me of what started all of this: she called me a good girl.

All that was missing was a firm grip on my ponytail and a tug of my hair to expose my neck.

And that reminds me of the time I was dropping to my knees to stretch and looked up to see her standing kind of shocked in front of me. She was stopping by to fist bump me and I didn't notice until I was on my knees in front of her.

....maybe we just vibe sexually. I don't fucking know. 

But I do know one thing: going right into the spank bank.

~

2 more for the books.

~

And another 2.