how today's going

Today started off well.

I think I'm back to my normal mental state.

All of my memories of me and the girl at the gym started slowly coming back to me yesterday. I have been actively changing the channel whenever they seem to start getting to deep.

I am a bit freaked out. Mostly because now that I'm back to my normal, I'm back to having to actively handle our interactions.

In order to keep myself safe, I've promised to not force myself to make decisions around her right now. I'm gonna have to float this one out which makes me REALLY grateful I made those rules for myself. Because I can still use those to take care of me in lieu of 'the talk'.

I had a text scheduled to go to her to check in today. It was supposed to go out at lunch, but I went ahead and sent it now. I got nervous thinking about the wait and I know the earlier I send it, the more time I have to cope and mentally adjust.

*whew* ohmygah

Last week was really tough. I knew it was gonna be difficult dealing with the Let Down Effect, but I had no idea how much other stuff would come up.

I guess now I just really want to remind myself to shoot for what's practical and not what's perfect.

I love you, me lol. Keep swimming when you can and feel free to float when you want.

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