cutie at da gym

 I'm really attracted to this girl at my gym and I don't know what to do.

I thought she was cute the first time I met her so I've been accidentally avoiding her ever since (on purpose).

But last week she started training the classes I take. It was going fine up until one moment.

I'm not a runner, but I didn't want to cop out without at least trying. So I tried to run, got left behind, and was the last person to make it back to class. Not as dramatic as it sounds; just the facts.

She met me at the door and I joked with her saying I was alive and had made it. She complimented me for the effort and then called me a good girl.

A good girl.

I don't know if I had a physical reaction, but mentally my ears perked up and I felt seen but in the best dirty way.

I mean, it could not be a thing. Could be a coincidence.

But she is masc, very attractive, and I want to see what's under her clothes...

Who am I even? I barely tolerate my own vagina; why do I want another.

I mean, I would definitely let her touch my vagina...

But, so the 'good girl' thing. It threw me for a loop. I did throw my line out there to see if I'd catch anything and I think I did. If I'm right, I threw her off her game in front of everyone.

OR it could be a coincidence.

Then she decided to hop in on our class last week as a trainee. Near me. Close enough to where I couldn't stop thinking about her being near. I even found myself looking for her when she wasn't in her spot.

Either I have accidentally started another post-trauma phantom relationship OR I'm fucked.

I can't stop thinking about her. It's taking everything in me not to look her up on Instagram or Facebook.

At this point, I hope she has a girlfriend so I have a reason to detach myself.

Or I hope the feeling is mutual, she would like to dominate me and make me cum.

Or I hope we can become friends and hang out....and pooooossibly do other stuff. Idk. I just want to be near her or see her or run into her somewhere and I haven't had a crush like this in a hot minute. Probably since my first one when we moved here.

I just want to know what this is or isn't. I do not want to find myself in this repetitive limbo because of past trauma. I want what's real.