mind & body

I am doing so much better, health-wise.

I did find a specialist doctor who confirmed everything I was thinking. She even helped out with two other problems, one of those I didn't even know I had.

Overall, I have learned how emotional states dictate mental states which can dictate physical states.

It was scary experiencing my symptoms go from bad to worse all because of my emotions. Fear would turn into panic which escalated the symptoms that scared me. It was a never-ending cycle.

Which means I was coping in overtime. I checked in with myself constantly. I comforted myself when necessary. I rested when I really needed it.

In short, a lot of grace was given. During that time, I actually discovered two coping mechanisms that help me out when I'm having trouble with pulling. 

Having the doctor confirm the thoughts that used to make me catastrophized just made me feel seen. They made me feel safe again. Like I could trust myself.

I have so many times where I think I know something, but it's brushed off. So then I second guess that thing and spiral into a sad and mean critical phase of 'well, am I ever right? do I ever know what I'm talking about, Is it all in my head?'

I just feel so much better. I have some medicine to help my main issue, some medicine to help my issue I didn't know I had, and some supplements to maybe possibly hopefully help my pulling.

I guess we'll see!