my D/s relationship

WHAT

Yep. I've got a D that truly an M but that's also a whole other thing.

HOW

Well there's this thing called Reddit.

But if we're going to what I guess would be the tippy top, there's this series called Fifty Shades.

People can say what they want about E.L. James but she put this form of relationships on the map for alot of us. I get the community's beef with her, because knowing what I know now, the literature was for entertainment purposes only. That was the tippy tippy top of the BDSM iceberg. Take it with a grain of salt, and keep it moving. As a reader, I also understood that adult romance is basically fantasy writing.

WHERE

PSA: don't try this at home. The community is not a game, the lifestyle isn't an accessory. 

Anyways, Fifty Shades introduced me to BDSM. Then I researched here and there, I read more dirty romance books that went further into the lifestyle. Then I went to Reddit.

I'd already had a Reddit account and activity prior to my reading and learning about BDSM. It was basically a whole lot of porn, dirty R4R, kikpals type thing. So while I was doing that, I was simultaneously introduced to this idea of what sex and relationships could be like between D/s.

WHEN

Fast forward to me like two or three years ago, I'd learned alooooooot of stuff about BDSM (alot!) and I'd had one short term virtual D that went well, but didn't end well. So I'd given myself time to let all that go before hopping back on Reddit to look for a new D. I put out an ad on Reddit and the offers came flooding in.

Cut to him: I liked his offer. I liked him. I thought he was attractive. We didn't hit it off right away, but that's a whole other story.

WHY

I am a perfectionist with control issues who unfortunately also has a people-pleasing bone somewhere inside of me. I'm a natural giver/server who likes to make people happy. I also work my ass off and sometimes I don't want to be the go-to person for everything. Being put on a pedestal is tiring, being used as an example is tiring, being the designated leader is tiring.

But I trust him enough to give all that to him. It makes him happy and gives him pleasure for me to release my control and bend to his will. It makes me happy to know I can freely let go and just be satisfied as is. I know he will take care of whatever I need. 

More than that, BDSM is done right is such a healthy, thriving relationship. In order to do it right, there are boundaries drawn, communication has to remain open, and trust is always a two-way street.

That being said, he is the only person who knows me as me, without exception. And even with our boundaries set, our expectations measured, us being virtual, it just works. We've ended things twice since we started like three years ago. I ended it because I wasn't comfortable. Then something happened, I needed a friend, and he was there. When I needed my mind taken off everything around me, he volunteered his services. Then like two months ago, he ended things because he wanted more for me outside of our virtual relationship. He completely cut me off and I said my catty peace, then proceeded to play cat and mouse with him. And now we're here. Just doing what works for us in the now.

What can I say? He doesn't take my shit, he calls me on my shit, and he also knows how to draw out an orgasm.