moved. got a job. think my new boss likes me.

 Welp. I'm back like I never left. I've gathered some sense of my new normal and reeled in some sense of sanity. Also, I got a freaking job. And where have I found myself yet again: I think my boss like-likes me.

I've had this feeling 3 times. One of those 3 times, I was right. It was monumental and also very damaging. I should note that that 1/3 was not my boss. It was worse. But in order to reel in my anxiety, I'm giving myself my moment. My moment to say what I think, into the void. Because apparently people read this, but they don't comment. Not mad at all. I just like the idea of being not-judged to my face. If that makes sense. I guess what I mean is I want to be able to sit in this feeling without being shoved into an area of doubt, right out the gate. I want to be heard (sort of) without waiting to hear what someone has to say about it. And if I'm right or wrong, it'll be between me and the internets.

But, really, who didn't see this coming? I'm attracted to my boss. White male. Older than I. Apparently has a child.... so also, might be married. (Again, sitting in it.)

Anyways, reasoning. These are the whys:

1. I feel it. Original, I know. But sometimes you get this feeling you just can't shake. Eye contact, weird unnecessary (but not disliked) interactions, he always makes himself known. One time he came by my door and did this little song and dance as he slid it open and back close. 

2. He works on the opposite side of this office we're in. Said office buildings have meeting rooms sporadically throughout because of what this company does. But all his meetings are done right across from my office-space.

3. Today he barged into the kitchen for nothing. Tiny kitchen, might I add. Literally said a little joke to my superior. Bragged about how he smelled good. (Inside joke about the food being cooked.)

4. My co-worker/superior is 'Re.' Re works beside me in her own office-space. We're a good distance away from each other but it's not terribly far. If I sneeze, she can hear it. Well, she told me Monday that I'll be moving to the side of the office she's on. Which is also the side of the office he's on. I've been there almost a month. The move seems sudden and unnecessary. But also, not complaining. 

5. Earlier this week, he stopped by my door to ask what smells so good. And I turned around to look at him, and was like 'does it smell sweet' and he said yes. And I said it could be my hand sanitizer (Give me a break lol) And he was like hmmm, smells good. And politely walked away. 

6. Well, today she comes over to me, out of the blue, right before I leave. Literally says, she just wanted to stretch her legs. And she awkwardly, casually, mention 'oh cute ring, where'd you get it.' This is a little rinky-dink ring I bought from an antique store as a gift to myself. I've always wondered if it was a cock-blocker. Wearing a ring on my hand, just cause. So I make a point to switch up what finger or hand I wear it own. But, still, weird. So I explained it and how it was really just a gift I gave myself, she very awkwardly transitioned it into spiraling on about colors and favorites and then 'ok, see ya'. Weird, right?

Also earlier today, I almost walked right into him. Not even an exaggeration. I freaking giggled. It was awkward. I went back to my desk and day dreamed that he chunked me against the wall and kissed me. It was a great plot lol. So there you have it. I'm "back at it again with my attachment issues" probably, maybe. I'll keep you....me, somebody posted. I'll be moving offices tomorrow!