my vagina has zero miles

I have just realized my vagina will basically always been younger than me. The way it's looking now, I could be 30 years old with an 18 year old vagina. My vagina is unused. Brand new. Still has the tags on it. This is not me bragging. Being a virgin sometimes feels like the heaviest weight ever. I appreciate it, but good God it's alot to carry. Anyway, my vagina still has the new car smell. The first guy that gets in there will not even be able to pop wheelies if he doesn't know what he's doing. When I have sex, I've always said I want it to be with someone experienced. Experienced, safe, smart, and considerate. You don't give a brand new car to someone who literally just learned how to drive. You put someone who's put in some hours on the road behind the wheel. Someone who will appreciate it, and knows exactly how to drive it. I mean, he can handle the road.

But what if he is experienced, but my vagina is so tight, it's just too much to handle. I like a little extra age in my dream man. Either age or maturity. Or both. But what if I'm 30, he's 40, we start having sex and he can't hang because my vagina is so tight. What the fuck am I supposed do with that? I've waited all this time to have sex. I want to enjoy it, too. I don't want someone cumming immediately. I mean, I know it's probably inevitable, but I want him to at least make an effort. Does that make me ridiculous? To expect that from someone I haven't even met? Especially since I have never even been to first base? A girl can dream, can't she? I'm squirreling. I can't help it.

It sounds braggy, but I'm really kind of freaking out. It's either hot or cold? What if my vagina is too magical for my future husband or what if it's weird. Like, what if he gets down there for the first time and goes "oh no get dressed we're going to the emergency room." *Screams internally* What if my vagina is shallow??? Oh my gah! What if his dick is a pretty good size but my vagina can't accommodate? This is the other part of being a virgin. No man has ever been down there to give me notes. I know, I know, men can't tell me what a woman's body should be or look like. But that doesn't stop my brain from making me think he will!

I don't even know what's what anymore. Give your virgin friends support. We need it. I can't speak for all of us, but here's how my days usually go. What is sex? Who needs sex? Man he's hot -- quick no eye contact! I want to jump that man. Ooooooooo sex. I need it. I'm horny. I just need a snack. I just need some dick. It's cold outside and I wouldn't be cold if I had sex right now. This bed is nice. This bed is lonely. My hair's growing back. Should I shave it? Who am I prepping for? What if my future husband likes hair? What if I get too comfortable with a little hair and he likes it bald? He's either gonna be shaving me, waxing me, or paying for it. That stuff is hard. Am I wet right now? What is happening? What is my future husband is grossed out by how wet I am? What if he doesn't like giving oral? Am I willing to never have oral sex performed on me? I mean, I've lived this long without it. But what if I really like it? What if I'm missing out? This man is gorgeous. I want to have his baby. I wonder how big it is? What if it's too tiny? What if I end up with a 'centimeter Peter'? What if he can't go for rounds? What is he can go for rounds? What if I can't? Will he want to do kinky stuff with me? Will he be too kinky? Will I be kinkier than him? Is that even possible? I wonder if he'll be into toys? How do I  explain my sexual appetite when we get together? What if he doesn't know how to break a virgin in? Would that be a good thing? Should every guy know how? Should I know how to guide him? What if I get my period on my wedding night? What if he doesn't care? Will I care? Will he clean me up every time after we have sex? I feel like he should. I didn't make the mess. How will raw sex work? Will I have to get on birth control? Would he wear condoms? I didn't wait forever for condom sex, did I? He should be tested. Will he be willing to get tested? Would he tell me about pas escapades? I love reading about it. Would I like to hear about it? Would he even want to tell me? Can he have an accent? I want a little spice in his voice. Is that too much to ask. Dirty talk with an accent? God, I think I could cum right now. Could he do that? Make me cum without touching me? I'd like that. Am I expecting too much? Does this man even exist somewhere? Would my future husband be willing to learn with me? Experiment with me? I need a drink. And that could literally be my thoughts within A DAYS TIME!!

Send help. Being a virgin is work. It's not the not having sex part because masturbation. Also, I can't miss what I've never had. It's more of looking dreamily at a menu and saying "I wonder what that's like?"But it's the thoughts you're left with. Unanswered questions. Usually, unreasonable questions. Idle minds, right? I don't know. Just, pray for us. One day I'll read this to my future husband and be like "haha.... ha. don't leave me."