shopping has gone down

Good news.

I made a good news/good one label, because when I was rearranging my blog, I realized I didn't have much to label as "good news." 

So, good news. My online shopping has gone down. I've been updating my resume, applying for jobs, stressing, pulling my hair out (just gotta be honest). But on the brighter side, I've had less time to spend mindlessly trying to figure out what I [don't] need to buy.

Also, I've figured out a way to not pull out my hair. As much. (I've also come to terms with not being able to quit pulling my hair out cold turkey).

Anyways, I've made a list. A list of what I need to do, goals. But in between my goals I set for myself I put rewards once that goal is met. So instead of dreading trying to reach the goal from so far away. I'm trying to turn it into anticipating. Anticipating the reward that I'll give myself once I make it. Good, right. I'm even smirking a little as I type this. I don't know. I know everything isn't great, but the least I can do is give myself a bright side to look at. I always do that for other people but I'm having a hard time giving it to myself. So yeah. I just think lists turn this huge boulder that's rolling at me into tiny rocks I can just leap over one at a time. It's less pressure. And once I jump over one, I can see the other one coming. I know what I need to do next. It helps me stay focused on going forward instead of retreating.

I also put games on my phone. It sounds small but it's mindless. The games don't require anything from me. I don't stress when I'm not playing them. I don't stress when I do. But it's something else I can look forward to. It's a bright side. I feel like a brochure right now. Also, I got high one time. The end.